Survey Worries about adult children More than half of the mothers are worried! 3rd worry: “I don’t want to lea ve my parents’ house”, 2nd place: “I don’t have a girlfriend” 　Parent-child relationship expert gives advice on “3 tip s to solve worries a

serendipity limited liability company
[Survey] Worries about adult children More than half of the mothers are worried! 3rd worry: “I don’t want to leave my parents’ house”, 2nd place: “I don’t have a girlfriend” 　Parent-child relationship expert gives advice on “3 tips to solve worries about children”!

Satoshi Mirin, the author of “The Law of Parents and Children: Recommendation for “Abandoning Parents” to Eliminate Life’s Worries,” surveyed 1,569 mothers aged 45 to 65 who have children aged 20 or over. I researched the problem.
[Image 1

Survey outline
Survey period: November 24-25, 2022
Survey method: Internet survey
Survey target: Mothers aged 45 to 65 with children aged 20 or older nationwide Number of valid respondents: 1,569
Research agency: Freeeasy
* When using the survey results of this release, please specify “Surveyed by serendipity LLC”.
Summary of survey results
・More than half of the mothers have worries about their children who are already adults.
・ Top 3 worries “I will not get married” “I do not have a lover” “I do not want to leave my parents’ house”
・Mothers who have problems with their adult children are more likely to have struggled with their parents when they were children. ・On the other hand, mothers who had a good relationship with their parents during childhood are less likely to worry about raising their own children.
Survey results
When we asked mothers who have grown-up children, “Do you have any worries about the child?”
When asked, “What kind of worries do you have?” to mothers who answered that they “have” worries, the most common answers were “not getting married” (32.4%), “not having a girlfriend” (31.3%), and “not trying to leave home.” (14.7%).
[Image 2
Next, we asked the mothers who answered “Yes” and those who answered “No” about worries, “What was the relationship between you and your parents when you were a minor?” In both cases, “I was on good terms with/liked my mother” (yes: 38.7%, no: 50.0%) was the most common answer, and the next most common answer for mothers who had concerns was “severe” (yes: 30.0%, no: 25.2). %), and the next highest score for mothers who had no worries was “I was on good terms with/liked my father” (yes: 29.6%, no: 43.0%). There was a difference of 10 points between mothers with and without worries regarding whether they had a good relationship with their own mother/father.
[Image 3

Satoshi Mirin explains about “children who worry about their mothers even when they grow up”
“Why does this trend appear?”
1. you are doing the same thing as your parents
Eric Byrne, an authority on psychology and psychiatry, said that “children are their parents’ tape recorders.” This means that parents are the most familiar examples for children, and that they adopt their parents’ behavior and way of life as default. People who have been hurt or tormented in their relationship with their parents, when they become parents, treat their children in the same way as their own parents (in other words, become the parent’s tape recorder), which creates a negative chain reaction. The results of this survey also show that it is easy to get up. It may be said that the way you are raised is a template for the way you are raised.
2. I don’t know how to express it because I feel that I was not loved by my parents.
People who feel that their parents have not given them enough affection grow up without being satisfied with themselves and without knowing how to express affection in a healthy way. In the first place, if you are not satisfied with yourself, you cannot afford to give a healthy love to others. It means that the emotional wounds that were not satisfied in the relationship with their own parents also affect their own child-rearing. Children who have been subjected to over-interference, neglect, or, even if it doesn’t go that far, “forced to ignore their feelings,” will choose misfortune as revenge against their parents. If you become happy or successful, you will end up saying, “My parent’s education was right.” The survey results also give a glimpse of the background that leads to social withdrawal, failure to find a regular job, and sabotage (destruction) of life. “How can I get over my worries about my adult child?”
“Then, how can we solve the worries about children who are already adults?” I will give you three tips.
1. Separate your life from your child’s life
Many people who worry about their children’s lives even after they grow up are unable to leave their children. There are many people who think that “my child’s life is my life” somewhere.
However, looking at the world, it is rare to see a culture that thinks that “my child’s life is my life”, and it is a way of thinking that is not understood, especially in Europe and the United States. In America, where I lived, and in Europe, where I live now, it is common to think that once you become an adult, you are the only one who can take responsibility for your own life.
This does not mean that we should imitate other countries in all things. This is passed on to children through their behavior. Children also become aware that their parents are responsible for their own lives, and become people who cannot take responsibility for their own lives. When parents realize that “only the child can take
responsibility for their own life,” their daily contact will change, and the child will become independent in the true sense of the word. 2. truly believe
The fundamental reason why children are still frustrated about their lives after they grow up is that they don’t truly believe in them. Parents are worried because they do not believe 100% in their child’s potential, such as saying that this child will not be able to stand on their own, that their way of life is dangerous, or that this child is powerless. You can tell your children that you don’t really trust them. That should have been transmitted from the end of the word and deed all the time while raising the child before the child became an adult. If the child is not believed by the parent, the child will not be able to maintain a high sense of self-affirmation, and will have a self-image that “I am a helpless existence” as the parent believes. From today onwards, believe in your own child’s life with all your heart. Then, the voice and attitude towards the child will change, and the child’s consciousness should gradually change.
3. Parents live lively and happily
“Children are their parents’ tape recorders,” so when parents try to hold back from life and try to keep things small, children look at their backs and hold back from life in the same way, leading to a lackluster “life of patience.” increase.
In fact, when I was growing up watching my parents struggle unhappy, I used to feel that “life is like that. I can’t expect it.” However, after that, when my parents found what they liked and what they were passionate about, they began to live happily. I changed my view. By showing parents how to live happily and happily without holding back what they want to do, children will surely imitate it and live positively.
Profile of Satoshi Sanrin
A life coach. Specialist in parent-child relationship psychology. Graduated from the State University of New York.
Self-coaching overcame adult children who have difficulty living due to domestic trauma. Based on that experience, we have developed a self-reform program that guides talent development, economic success, and partnership improvement, and supports more than 90,000 people in improving their lives.
　Through SNS and online schools, we are disseminating ways to realize the freedom of money, time, and place, as well as human relationships and mental and physical health.
Selected as an interviewer for May Musk, the mother of world-famous entrepreneur Elon Musk, for her first lecture in Japan on parenting. Also, in March 2022, he published his first book, “Parent and Child Law: Recommendation for ‘Abandoning Parents’ to Eliminate Life’s Worries” (KADOKAWA), which spells out true problem-solving methods for parent-child relationships. Official website:
http://sanrinsatoshi.com/
[Image 4

Company Profile
Trade name: serendipity limited liability company
Location: Kuwano Building 2F, 6-23-4 Jingumae, Shibuya-ku, Tokyo Representative: Representative Employee Satoshi Sunada
Established: June 2017
Business: Consulting, internet services, advertising
Details about this release:
https://prtimes.jp/main/html/rd/p/000000013.000091676.html

MAIL:cr@prtimes.co.jp